THE CAUSES OF PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE
TEXT: 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 1-5
INTRODUCTION
Definitely there is no marriage that does not have or has not had problems, but we have to understand that all the problems of marriage have a cause, but unfortunately many marriages They focus on problems, that is, on symptoms, but not on the cause of the problem.
We feel bad for the indifference of our spouse, we are bothered by his bad temper, we are angry at his jealousy or his hurtful words, but we do not recognize what may be the cause of these attitudes.
In chapter 7 of the first letter to the Corinthians the Holy Spirit through the apostle Paul talks about problems in marriage and in these texts we can understand what are some of the causes of problems in our marriage.
Let’s see in the word of God what are some of the causes of the problems in our marriages:
I) FIRST CAUSE: LIVING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE BUT NOT BEING A TRUE MARRIAGE BEFORE THE EYES OF GOD (VS 2)
- We have to understand that the only relationship as a couple between a man and a woman who has the blessing of God is marriage, the word of God tells us that marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13: 4)
- But unfortunately many people want to live together as couples but without being under the commitment marriage, but do not realize that a marriage without commitment does not exist, can not work, because true love produces commitment, commitment is what helps us to turn a promise into reality despite adversity.
- Many couples are afraid of commitment, they do not want to consolidate their marriage relationship before God, but they do not realize that the lack of peace, the lack of true blessing and prosperity in the family is because they are living in a relationship that is not pleasant in the eyes of God, and when there is no commitment, there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy and thoughts that the easiest thing is to abandon everything.
II) SECOND CAUSE: DISCUSSING PRIVACY AND SEXUALITY IN MARRIAGE (1 CORINTHIANS 7: 3)
- We must know that the marital duty is not only sexual relations, but also the affection, love, care that the spouses must have to each other to make each other feel special (Colossians 3:19 / Titus 2: 4)
- That means that husbands should not be loving, romantic and careful of their wives only to have sexual intimacy, but always, because if something hurts The heart of a wife is only to be used by her husband.
- If there is one thing we can be sure of, it is that refusing to have sexual intimacy in the marriage, either because of anger or as a form of punishment or revenge towards the spouse, will not help in any way to solve the problems of marriage, but on the contrary, it will cause more anger, doubts and bitterness.
- Scientifically proven that couples who constantly refuse to have sexual intimacy are couples with more lawsuits, with a higher level of irritability before the problems, more jealous, with more levels of stress.
- If there is any cause that may be affecting the sexual intimacy of the couple, whether due to fatigue, illness, not having privacy in their home, etc. the couple can not just let time pass without discussing the issue, it is necessary to talk honestly, and look for a way to have a satisfying sexual intimacy for both.
III) THIRD CAUSE: ALWAYS THREATENING WITH SEPARATING AND ABANDONING OUR PARTNER WITHOUT SEEKING RECONCILIATION (1 CORINTHIANS 7: 10-11).
- Unfortunately, both husbands and wives use the technique of separation and abandonment as blackmail to break the will of their partner. and to do things as they want, they do not have the maturity to dialogue, to recognize their error and ask for forgiveness or forgiveness and seek reconciliation.
- When someone is forced and agrees to do something or stop doing something not by their own will but by blackmail there will always be anger in their heart, there will be resentment, and the relationship will be affected, there will be no peace.
- Because instead of always threatening to separate, leaving home, leaving your husband or wife, because you say: I stay and fight for our marriage, remember that for God there is nothing impossible.
IV) FOURTH CAUSE: TO DISCONTINUE OUR MARRIAGE (1 CORINTHIANS 7: 32-34)
- This is logical: the one that does not please, displeases, and in marriage much more, when we do not look for the way to please our spouse and our spouse They do not look for the way to please us, it is not something that goes unnoticed, it makes us feel bad, it could damage our heart.
- The word of God is clear: Both husband and wife have to try to please their partner, but unfortunately we make the mistake of trying to please everyone except our partner.
- Both men and women who are married have to seek first to please their partner, not their parents, not their friends or co-workers, but their wife or husband, and in this way they also please God by making their Will.
- Unfortunately there are many marriages in which there are many lawsuits and problems because we behave exactly like the popular saying: Street lamp and darkness of your house.
- Let’s find a way to please our partner, remember that we conquer ourselves, pleasing ourselves, and with the help of God we can conquer again the heart of our partner!
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